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November 24th, 2009
10:51 am - hello old friend
Gosh, I have been AWOL, haven't I?
I guess the first thing to write is that I haven't got leprosy (which is where I dropped the story, er, 3 YEARS ago)! It turned out to be nothing more exotic than a failed thyroid - now on daily thyroxine tabs everything is fine. My typing fingers didn't fall off afterall, I just got distracted by the UK rat race.
Ironically though, now I've broken my foot...& its the 6 weeks off work that brought me back to LJ. What better oportunity to go back and fill in the blanks of EO, typing up my paper diary before it disintergrates.
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September 21st, 2005
10:28 pm - pressing play again
hey guys. I'm finally just about sorted. the computer is set up (and i got a shiny new laptop soon to be broadbanded *claps*)
so I should start writing the million things in my head and the dozen things in my paper diary.
Coming soon to Essentialsonly: Gambia & mali - yes, yes, I am still intending to finish that! Some of the re-adjustment stuff will be here to. I have had a lot to think about.
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July 29th, 2005
09:22 pm - time vortex
good lord, where did the last two weeks go?
i have only seen about 6 of the 28 people on my hit list. I have bought about 3 of the items on my shopping list. I have not found a flat, written up my lj back-posts, been to the cinema, or been to the dentist.
i have come down with flu though :(
felled by your english germs, damn you.
i've been surprised by my lack of culture-shock. Apart from getting lost in clapham junction, and looking rather shell-shocked (ok, someone called it terrified) at Red Eye. No freak outs in Tescos. No problem with luxuriating. No tutting at the selfishness of western greed.
if anything i am feeling a little guilty about how easily i have swiched back. Bad VSO!
mark you i've hardly left the house.
The only real difference is my inability to time-manage and get organised. how very gambian! I just need to surender descision-making. So just tell me when you want to see me. I cant schedule by myself.
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July 23rd, 2005
01:23 pm - the same, but different
alive and well and living in croyden....who'da thought it!
slowly surfacing and getting organised. ok, the getting organised bit is a fib, but i have got a new mobile number - 07723031175 - and am over the novelty of dependable light switches *g*.
planning a bunch of back-posting when i get my head together. also planning to leave the house soon.
very happy.
available for catching-up, gossip, cultural-events, and general entertainment for the next 6 weeks. contribute to my social-rehabilitation programme.
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July 11th, 2005
04:08 pm - 7 days
this time next week i will be in london.
wow.
i just picked up my plane tickets. arrive seven-o'clock-in-the-bloody-morning thanks very much vso!
insanely busy. STILL havent finished the project. various social shenanigans and minidramas and fondfarewells. very busy head.
internet has been down. cant get my email. havent had a chance to check anyone else journal [really really sorry if anyone has has anything happen i sould know about]
looking forward to catching up with everyone next week. next week!
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July 4th, 2005
11:48 am - procrastinationationation
I've had a strange weekend. I was supposed to have finished the Guidebook/systems pathways stuff - ie to sit at the computer and type 300 pages of mindnummingly boring protocols all weekend. You would not believe the number of ways i can distract myself.
needless to say i havent finished!
the Long Rains are well and truely here. It poured solidly for 48hours. I stood under the verhanda of my doorway, bare feet wet, watching the rivers run off the corugated tin awening. The sky was purple. The light was weird. The mangos hanging in heavy bunches glowed golden-blush against the dark glossy greens in the courtyard. The baby banana palm looked meekly deluged, its base totally submerged & its branches sruggling to hold-up under such a drumming. The whole yard was flooded to my door. The Venice of africa.
My little house became an ark. A rather leaky ark. A rather noisy ark, what with the combined efforts of earthquake-like thunder, mangos that lost the will to hold on, and the constant pounding of the rain. I had to turn off the power and unplug the phone. The power surges fry everything. The air smelt electric.
It was all very distracting.
I packed (not strictly necessary yet...but excellent for avoiding work) I boiled tea on the gas-burner. I had a lovely text conversation with my Mum about Live-8 (they were showing Mali on TV!). I paddled to the beach and swam in the rain.
Today, the sun returned. Its nicer now the air is clear. Everywhere there are steaming puddles.
Today I need to do work. I must stop writing posts about puddles. I must stop thinking about virtual-posts on everything thats changed and everything i've learnt and everything i'm worried about.
I MUST DO WORK!!!!
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July 1st, 2005
12:20 pm - social things
proper update to follow, things are really crazy here.
after lots of hooha, it now looks like my flight is the night of the 17th, arriving monday morning.
not sure how its going to feel, being back. I thought i would just switch back effortlessly into who i used to be (after all i have spent so much time staying at the High Commission, which might as well be england, and its not like i have been living in a mud hut.) And yet...I've had emails from Rowan and Rosie, and i saw Joan & Sonia back from their home-holidays. All have told me not to underestimate the reverse-culture shock.
But I will flaunt this wise advise, and go clubbing the day i hit london *grin*
I am planning to be at Red Eye on Monday 18th July (is it still at ghetto?) Would love to see everyone...please come!
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June 27th, 2005
11:39 am - jetset&countdown
*arrgh* too. much. happening.
and the internet is playing up again. i cant get a home connection and the internet cafe is taking forrrrever. cant get into my email at all.
have low level panic about everything i need to fit in...to my last 2 weeks *flaps*
still havent booked my flight. they canceled the friday flight so its now tues 12 - WAY too early - or sunday 17th.
Rosie left Gambia on Sunday. There is a real feeling of closing-down-sale about our social group. Hannah &I saw her off in style tho, splashing out on a mother-treat. In a year of strange contrasts, last weekend takes gold. As the expat lifestyle sits oddly with development work, visiting the Museum of the Slave Trade & James island by jetski is one of the weirdest contrasts i can imagine. We shouldnt do it...its just so wrong, waving to ragged children on the jetty of a dirt-poor village before roaring off, bikini clad, in a shower of surf (&polution) jumping waves on a bucking jetski. But oh oh so much fun. So very Charlies Angels. Bad VSOs!
then there was the obligatory night out in Green Mambas, and then the trip to the airport. We are all getting quite sentimental. was deeply touched when Rosie said hanging out with Hannah & I was like having big sisters. snif.
On a totally different note, I did a Disabilities workshop today. I cant help feeling that, although socially i am ready to come home (& the scene's winding up), work-wise i am only just finding my stride. I have FINALLY got the networking up & running for a proper disability service, with people really beleiving in it...only to break it to them i am leaving. I felt for the fist time, that my work will genuinely be missed. and for a brief moment considered extending. it really does take a year to settle in.
The blood fridge is working well. The doctors handbook (systems pathways) is - who am i kidding - getting there (or it will with a few all-nighters). The database of west african services...well, you cant win them all.
much in my head. will keep a paper-journal and back post when i'm home.
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June 12th, 2005
06:16 pm - and then...disaster
back in an internet cafe whos keyboerd doesnt wok.
MY COMPUTER DIED :(
i took it to a flemish guy. its a virus apparently. oh, i know what tht means: we havent the foggiest. i do, after all, use that line myself. *g*
but can it be fixed domineck?
he is on-it.
woe woe woe.
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June 9th, 2005
10:10 pm - contribution
i made a man cry today.
in a good way.
The father sat in my neuro clinic in his koranic teacher's robes and cap. He had a lovely open life-worn face. He brought his 7 year old son with severe cerebral palsy, whos limbs &mouth moved in involuntary athetoid writhing arcs.
The diagnosis was easy from the doorway. I hoped he hadnt come for a miracle cure - it feels awful breaking that news no, no cure, not here, not even abroad.
But no one had ever told them the child's IQ was normal before.
The boy had the same bright black eyes as his dad, that looked directly and demanded contact.
I harrassed Mariama, my translator, into talking to the boy himself [running battle here: they think i'm mad talking to children. even 'normal' children. you would think i was a vet: please ask this cat where the pain is! Bless her, she is the best translator & most of the time i am pretty sure she says what i do...although i swear she has narcolepsy. No really: she falls asleep head on the desk when i am mid-sentance. ah Gambia!]
The lad was thrilled to be given test games. The excitement made his movements so violent he practically fell off the chair. But he managed them, with delight. I gave him a jumbo-marker pen and he could copy [huge shaky] shapes on paper. If you can copy, you can learn to write. I showed Dad how the pen-hand shaking stilled if his free hand was held. Make a desk with a post for him to hold onto
I said teach him the koran
The man cried great fat smiling tears and shook my hand in both of his. Then added his forehead for good measure.
It is so simple sometimes. when its not about MRI scans and drugs. when its not even about cure. The child is the same. *muses* It is a rare privilage to give someone hope. And oddly humbling, to do this by basically doing nothing but stating the plain facts.
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June 8th, 2005
11:08 pm - mangi torop tanga
the rains have come. 2 days ago the first downpour hammering on my tin roof. But it at least is a more constant drumming than the mango-explosions (and smells electric instead of fermenting piles of squashed fruit)and more soothing than the al-kala's warbling call to prayer.The rain reminds me of camping. only much much hotter.
Funny. A few weeks ago i was making conversation with an old senegalese taxi driver & i asked himwhen the rains would come. He chewed his tongue thoughtfully and gazed at the sky for long enough to have at least one near-miss on the road: june 6th he said finally.
it is so god damn hot that the sweat pools in every hollow, and moving from the fan is an effort. no wonder nobody does any work around here!
Sleeping is a problem. I lie twisting in my sheets & trying to get comfy. I forgot how noisy rainy season nights are! what with the pulsing crickets & groaning frogs and strange giant rodents squabling over mangos. I like the storms themselves - it drowns the noise & cools the air.
But for now they are still sporadic.
i spent the day trying to work at hannah's house instead of the office, on the grounds that my poor laptop is protesting about the humidity, and her house is the coolest place short of british soil (BHC is my next stop if i cant get anything done)
Littlefreaked out about the tiny number of days left and the huge amout of work i need to fit in, but i have a long history of sucessful brinkmanship, so hopefully can pull it off. hmmm.
I had both power and water for all of 3 hours this evening...felt so energised to have a shower and run fans I was practically dancing (oh, and to play music!) but alas it was short lived and within seconds of still-air&candles I am sweaty and sleepy again. *sigh*
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June 2nd, 2005
06:11 pm
Back in my own little house. Its quite sweet really. Just two rooms, it has a wendy-house feel - Reminds me of the abandoned cottage my sister &I used to play in when we were kids.
Still, I miss the aircon of the BHC. It is 39C today. And so sticky. No water, no power...plus ca change!
I was faintly annoyed to find my maid has unplugged the invertor... back to candles, opressive humidity & no laptop battery like the old days![tho I quite like the fact we are back to rainy season before i leave -there is a certain feeling of completing a cycle in that] Then i saw she had put all my birthday cards upsidedown (she cant read) and it made me smile.
My little home-visit patient is doing ok. Many thanks to everyone for the support when i had my rant. If you are interested in the issues around FGM there is a link & some discussion in the comments on that post.
I am feeling much more robust & philosophical: you cant change the world overnight. She - like millions before her - will survive.
This week has been the VSO conference - watch Hannah go with the flip charts and the post-it-notes!!!! Its a bit like being back in In Country training. And Very sociable with beach parties etc all week. But made me realise how few of my intake are left! of the girls, its just me& Rosie (sonia is on hols in the uk).
Some sessions are genuinely interesting - the High Comissioner for example, did a section about ( security ) Other sessions feel like a very long way to a short point. Ah VSO!
Skived conference today, because i didnt want to miss my Neuroclinic. It is a bit of a victim of its own sucess: people are LYING about their children having epilepsy to get an appointment with me. Still makes feel wanted! I'mnot sure what is going to happen to it when i go. none of the other doctors is really interested in disability.
Gotta go meet Hannah: she has really bad news & we need emergency Palais du Chocolate. more later.
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May 20th, 2005
10:41 pm - Lizzie the Lizardslayer
I just had a very nasty experience.
settled down to a special treat of chocolate with cup of tea, whilst i used the internet. one piece went pingging off when i tried to snap a bitesizd chunk. absent-mindedly multitasking (gearing-p laptop, reading a novel, eating choc, drinking tea, and minding little cinnamon), i spied the aforementioned chunk hiding in the shadow under my laptop(it has one of those backloaded battery bars that raises it at an angle,forming a little cave underneeth ) i reached down and firmly grabbed chunk of choc in a pincer grasp, mouth open ready to pop it in...
it wriggled.
As soon as i had it in my fingers, there was a horrible sratching & scraping, and me squeeling like a piglet. I lept back & did that involuntary, skittery, jumping-up-and-down-waving-hands-about girlie thing for a few seconds. Pulling myself together, i realised there were seven sizes of ant on the counter. from the microscopic to the inch-long. At arms length & gurning for the empty room, i gingerly lifted the laptop. There, taking shelter, was the mutilated body of a very large gecko. minus tail, and half his limbs.
oh yes. chunk of chocolate was geckohead.
His meaty amputated stumps were crawling with ants, and he did a good job under this new exposure of playing dead, but tidal belly betraying him *grimace* still alive.
God Damn Cat! She did it on purpose!I know by the smug look she had as she watched me scoop it up between two bits of card. She is all pissy with me in that feline narrow-eyed way. Because i am here, it is obviously My Fault that Hannah had the guards take her to be spayed this week! (cleaver Hannah :D)
This was the first in a killing spree of vengance. There are lizard parts everywhere. Its a massacre. oh how i miss dogsbody's sweet little voles.
*evil thought* Maybe i will just go home and leave it for the Maid on monday....
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May 18th, 2005
03:41 am - emotional jumble sale
Just got back from on-call. It has been one of those evening that are like a liquid concentrate of the whole experience. If I had been feeling like I’d sunk into a comfortable ride of freeloading at the High Commission and Long Island Ice Teas, tonight was a quick wake-up call. Definitely still in Africa.
( war zones, various )
And so I am home. Well, hannah's home. At least there is power and water.
Rather exhausted. Having gone through the whole range of emotions. Fulfilled, smug, curious, interested, proud, ashamed, symapthectic, sad, happy, angry, frustrated, terified, releived.
Then to cap it off Cinnamon peed in my bag whilst I was boiling tea on the stove for the night guard.
Gotta laugh.
No wonder I am tired and emotional!
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May 13th, 2005
12:24 pm - cranking up to the final push
8 weeks left. OMG...I guess that means i should buckle down and actually do some work then? My visitors have gone. My birthdays over. B has gone. Brett&Zoe are still in the UK. That means no distractions, right?
ah see me be super-motivated!
Am at Hannahs house this morning, with its huge shabby high-ceilinged halls and cliff-top breeze billowing through collonial verandahs. Splendid in a run-down past-Empires way. She's in Mali for a couple of days and i am feeding cats and using electricity. Cinnamon is now strong enough to be a pest, and is ambushing my toes as i type.
I'm now, officially, on flexi-time. After my big meeting with cheif, Oneke mysteriously changed her mind about the value of my Project. Infact, it has become our project *smiles*. I am now doing evening clinical shifts tues and friday, and my neurology clinic on thursday, but the rest of the time is project work.
Being able to come&go makes me feel like a proper consultant. Its alot easier to keep an over view of the interesting cases, (without being bogged down in the trivia) if you dont have responsibility for the day-to-day clinical work. I do worry about who is going to take on the neuro clinic when i go though. there really is a huge need.
But i do need to be a bit more productive. So far have nothing to show for it. Right! *shuts down livejournal and goes to find other non-project distraction*
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May 11th, 2005
12:13 pm - Jo turns 30
When it comes to counting blessings, really, I need a calculator. Not least among them is my wonderful fandamily, represented on this occasion by my sister, coming all this way for a long-weekend.
( a perfect weekend )
I will treasure my book of memories. It took me a little while to realise what it was. I thought at first it was a this-is-your-life photo album (my wonderful sisters speciality). Really very very very touched. I keep looking at it. Many many thanks to everyone who contributed a memory or photo. [ If you didn’t get round to it in time, or were not on the email list that Fiona had, you can still write me something! I’ll be adding pages]
Thanks too to everyone who sent texts, phoned or tried-to-phone, emailed or sent cards (they arrived!). Feel rather overwhelmed!
If I'd had any anxieties – which I didn’t really - about slipping into my fourth decade *cough*, they’d’ve melted in the warmth of feeling so luved. I have had the most wonderful weekend. And so I start my thirty-somethings feeling rather fabulous, thank you very much.
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May 7th, 2005
10:22 am - 29 and 364 days
Must start writing more public posts. must start writing more posts period! Its not that i havent had things to say - virutal posts swirl round my head all the time - its just that time runs away with me. I so wanted to catpture the whole year - good, bad, thoughtful, frivolous, cultural & personal. but sometimes actual life gets in the way!
well, my 30th is rapidly approaching, and i feel fabulous.
I had a really good week with J. I was througherly spoilt with good food and drink *grin*. We did manage to fit in the ex-pat social tour: two parties at the BHC (a posh one with waiters in their white uniforms, and an informal one at Sarahs), Long Islands At Wheezos, coctails at Green Mambas and the entertaining experience of AliBabas (although end of season, so disapointingly few old tobab-trouts with bad braids, sunburn & barely-legal local beauxs) For a bit of local flavour, we went to the crocs (but didnt quite make the monkey forest) and visited B's old compound with Hannah, to have groundnut pap with Jainaba-the-second-wife. I showed her the hospital All that with lots of swimming and a little hammock-time, and the week was over ina blink.
I'm picking my sister up from the airport in an hour. Will be fantastic to see her. Tomorrow we're going to Borbois beach & sunday we've chartered a boat to go up-river. Will be a fantastic weekend. *contented sigh*
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May 1st, 2005
04:20 pm - purr
Ginger has found a happy home.
Hannah adores him.
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April 27th, 2005
11:05 pm - soft touch
hannah is going to kill me.
I seem to have aquired, on her behalf, yet another very tiny kitten. It is currently trying to suckle my ankle, which is a bit like being tickled with a very tiny wet feather.
I am house sitting while Hannah is up-country. She already a bunch of cats one of which just had kittens a couple of months ago. I dont know where this one came from. It cant be more than a week old - still all wobbly. But it sat on the door step and cried ALL day.
the guard offered to "throw it away" for me, literally judging by the hand gesture towards the cliff (hannahs house has lovely sea view). I know it probably wont survive on cow milk. i know gambia is already over run with strays. i know i am leaving in 3 months. i tried to ignore it, but every time i left the house it blindly shuffled after me, and i could hear its pitify mew incessantly. and so i have spoon-fed this thiing, bathed it & wrapped it in a towel.
it is no bigger than my hand.
still - i am saying no to the babies.
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10:59 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mr ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) barty!
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